


Have you ever been low?

by lervinsmiss



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 20:57:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12350505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lervinsmiss/pseuds/lervinsmiss
Summary: “Erwin” His voice cut through the whole quagmire in his head, “You think too much.”Erwin Week 2017 mess of Love/Loyalty, Military Training Days and Emotions.





	Have you ever been low?

“She doesn’t love me Mike.” The young cadet slurred into his beer. He looked up at his comrade with blue eyes bloodshot and bleary with drink and tears.

“She told me she wanted to marry me but now she says she doesn’t want me.” His voice broke on the last word and he sniffled.

Mike’s nose twitched and he reached out to extract the tankard from his friend’s clammy hands.

Only a year older, he sat a head taller than the lad and he felt pity for his young, broken heart.

“Time’ll pass, Erwin. You’ll get over her.” He huffed, reassuring but uncertain. 

He’d barely been in love himself, felt fleeting fancies and amorous arousal at the barmaids of the tavern and farm girls of his own village but since enrolling with the cadets? Everything had turned on it’s head.

He ruffled Erwin’s hair to break the serious mood and the little sob he emitted made Mike’s stomach flip.

“It’s-” He struggled for words that would comfort but all he could think of was pulling Erwin out of the beer hall into the alley, holding his face in his hands and pushing all the hurt in his body out of him.

He kept his hands firmly on his own forgotten mug and tried to think of something else.

“I’ll always be here for you. Alright?” He glanced at Erwin who snorted some sort of reply. 

“Come on, enough sulking.” He downed the remnants of his mug and almost vaulted from the table.

The boy looked up, eyes wide and swimming, not seeing as Mike began wading through the tables and benches. 

Erwin struggled to his feet and bumbled through the crowded hall after him, out the door.

“Mike!” Erwin croaked, hacked the phlegm from his lungs and tried again. “Mike, where are you going?”

“We’re going for a walk!” He called over his shoulder, half way up the lane already. “Gonna clear your head!” 

Erwin caught him up before they reached the barrack gates and fell into step with Mike's longer strides, swiping at his streaming nose with the back of his hand.

“I’m sorry, Mike” He wheezed. “I know I sound stupid and childish. You don’t have to look after me like a baby. I don’t want to be a burden or-”

Mike grabbed his shoulder and squeezed. Erwin hadn’t even noticed he’d turned around to face him or that he’d stopped walking to blubber on and on.

Why didn't he know how to shut up? Mike was practically his only friend now and he was going to drive him away just like-

“Erwin” His voice cut through the whole quagmire in his head, “You think too much.”

His mouth worked like a gasping fish for a moment before he let out a heavy sigh. He gave a little cough.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He looked up at his fellow cadet, the night air swirled around them and Mike’s hand was heavy and warm on his shoulder.

“Don’t be.” Mike gave him a lopsided smile and tugged him along up the cobbles. 

At the guardhouse Mike motioned for Erwin to follow him along the wall to the stone steps leading up to the watch towers. They crept along the edge and came to a stop at the bend. Mike hopped up to sit on the stone crown of the battlements and offered a hand up.

They sat in silence for a while, just staring out over the quiet night, past the walls, at the dark emptiness beyond them. 

Mike cleared his throat. 

“Do you wanna talk about it anymore?” He risked a glance “It’s alright if you do.” He added as an afterthought.

“I just-” Erwin rubbed at the back of his neck and tried again.

“I thought she was going to be the love of my life. I thought I could tell her anything, everything! And she would understand.” He wiped at his nose again. “I told her that when I graduate next year I want to join into the Survey Corps.”

“Ah” Mike breathed.

Erwin huffed a laugh that had no humour. “Said she couldn’t marry a man who’s just looking to die.” He shook his head and turned to Mike.

His face was hidden in the dark but he could tell how much pain he must be wearing from the way his words came halting and over-enunciated.

“You’ve set your mind to it?” 

Erwin nodded and made a half-whining reply of affirmation.

“No changing that then.” Mike rumbled. “Well, she must not have been the one for you, Erwin.”

“How can you know that?” Erwin rasped. He was barely holding himself together again. 

“If you were certain she was, you wouldn’t be sitting here crying over her. You’d be trying to figure out how to win her back. And if she really were the one-” Mike paused, made sure the cadet was still listening over the sound of sniffling. “She would have believed your dreams.”

He heard a ragged breath let go across from him and then silence for a long while. Then Erwin shuffled to his feet.

“Thank you, Mike.” His voice barely a whisper over the cool breeze. He moved to leave and Mike shot a hand out against better judgement.

He squeezed Erwin’s arm once and held his loosely, “Anytime.”


End file.
